…to accept the things I cannot change

…the courage to change the things I can

…and the wisdom to know the difference

And boy are there a lot of things I cannot change right now. Like the fact that it’s been four years since my last post here. And the fact that my dearest, darlingest dad has departed this Earthly existence. And the fact that my dearest, darlingest daughter just graduated from high school.

I could go on and on. There are so many. And will be so many to come, I know. Life is a series of letting go’s. Letting go of the previous moment because it is gone forever. I don’t like to let go. I never have. Not when I was little and it was time to leave the caterpillars on the tree, or when the week at Camp Fire Girls camp was over. Or when another summer of reading library books and swimming was over. Today’s letting go’s seem bigger though. The sadness is deeper and the grief is a bigger ocean to cross.

I cannot change the passage of time, no matter how hard I rail against it or refuse to believe it’s happening, even in front of my eyes.

There have certainly been a lot of changes—beginnings and endings—in the last several years. Too many to list here to be sure. It’s taken a lot of courage to make them. Whether or not they were all for the better remains to be seen.

Every change is a step on the journey. The trick is knowing when to take those steps. I suppose that’s the “wisdom to know the difference” part.

Gunnison is now home. We have been here a couple of years now, three to be exact. That’s more than a couple I guess. But it’s not home all the same. We miss the solitude of North Park where our neighbors were Matilda the moose and her babies each year, the fox who spent a very cold, blustery, snowy winter on the hill eating birdseed (and maybe some scraps I might have tossed out front on the pile of snow) and the myriad hummingbirds, chickadees and Stellar jays who graced us with their presence.

But life is a journey, not a destination. Or so I’ve been told. The trick is learning how to ride the ebbs and flows without losing oneself along the way.

Goddess grant me the serenity today to also be grateful for what has blessed my life.