Yes, I know. What, WHAT exactly, did I expect?????
When it snows for a week in April (and seriously, I stopped counting how many days in a row we had snowflakes of some sort floating around)…one can only assume that the next phase of a snowflake’s life is going to be of the liquid sort. Which when mixed with a solid, in the form of soil, well, the resultant mix is nothing short of M-U-D. With a capital M. And now we’ve got trouble. T-R-O-U-B-L-E. That’s Trouble with a capital T. Right here in River City. (Name that movie and you can win an all-expenses paid vacation to Mud City. And I’ll even throw in some mud boots as well.)
Ha ha. Trying to not be PEEVED about the mile and a half long mud trail that serves as our driveway. Nor the gigantic, GI-FLIPPIN’-GANTIC, holes in the middle of said “drive” in the last 1/10th of a mile before the garage. Just adding insult to injury. Seems the ranch was too low on gravel last year to fill those gigantic, GI-FLIPPIN’-GANTIC, holes. So big are they that I told Gracelyn to hold her breath, I gave the order to “DIVE!! DIVE!!” You could hear the klaxons ringing throughout our stalwart, ruby red, not so brand new anymore but still very fast Subaru. Then I shouted “Up periscope!” ………….. (this is what happens when you listen to too many Clive Cussler/Dirk Pitt adventure audio books).
And then we surfaced on the other side. No worse the wear…unless you take into consideration the ruby red sparkly Subaru is now a chocolate brown, not so sparkly more on the dull side, shadow of her former self.
But never fear…Herbie the Love Bug rode again (and no, I’m not talking about the farcical remake with what’s her bucket teen starlet…what a disgrace to Herbie that must have been)! I’m sure that, someday, the mud will dry…the ranch will find some gravel…the gigantic, GI-FLIPPIN’-GANTIC, holes will be filled…and the sparkly ruby red wonder will once again grace our presence.
I will say that I did receive a fine compliment on our traverse down the “driveway” this morning. The youngster in the back piped up with “wheeeeee…mommy this is just like Space Mountain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Now just before all y’all go getting these fantastical images of our ruby red wonder surging through outer space and 17 turns at a breakneck speed with the wind whistling through our hair and screams echoing all around………….I was only barreling down the drive at approximately 13 mph. Promise. Cause any faster and we would have been airborne off the curve. Then that herd of antelope would really have had something to run from. As it was, I was “slip-slidin’ away…..” (Name that song for a second, all-expenses paid vacation to Mudland…hip waders included.) Seriously…the top layer of
soil mud didn’t allow much traction. Comments from the other inhabitants of this idyllic home: “if your car had 4 wheel drive…” No love I say. There’s no love for the trusty ruby red wonder chocolate brown spaceship.
Well. If I do say so myself, this entire post is one gigantic, GI-FLIPPIN’-GANTIC, digression. I really had so many other things to say.
But then I remembered why I started writing in the first place. Because there are so many things about living out here that make me truly mad, nutso, crazy, off-my-rocker insane.
AND MUD SEASON IS PRETTY CLOSE TO THE TOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe right behind the bloomin’, blasted gophers and moles in my yard and the maggots crawling out of the doorjambs.
Time to take a deep breath and go watch the snowflakes fall. Just to remind myself of the pretty things around here.
Maybe that fox will come back. She (or he…could have been a he…twas dark and I was without glasses yesterday morning on my way to work) was in the backyard Saturday morning about 5 am. I was halfway to the garage and heard something rattling the fence. Let me tell you. There should not be a sound at 5 am in the morning out here. Nada, zip, zilch, zero, nothing. I froze. Then, my super awesome night vision eyes made out a small furry thing running up and down the fenceline…inside the fence! Now, since I was on my way to work, and since it was 5 am, and since I didn’t have the camera, you’ll have to trust me when I say it was a fox.
Anyway…I started talking to her, trying to calm her down and let her know she needed to turn to the right and then run straight…out the gate…same as she came in. Only she wasn’t listening to me–for some reason “what we have here is a failure to communicate.” Don’t worry, if you name that movie, I won’t make you come here to Mudsville.
Anyway, I realized our failure to communicate and quickly shut the hell up. As soon as I got quiet, she got her neurons synapsing again and made a dash out the gate and down the drive.
And that is all I can write tonight.
It was a hell of a week. I’m still trying to put it all someplace. I realized today that I was pretty out of sorts. I wasn’t tired..though the 18 hour work day yesterday didn’t help…and get this…my last patient and I discussed String Theory, quantum physics, and multiple dimensions during our walk around the hallway!!! Lord love a duck but I hope and pray when I’m his age I’m reading books about String Theory and anxious to learn new things. What a delightful man he was.
But I digress.
I’m not tired. I’m not sick. I don’t have a headache. But I don’t feel good. Not a lot feels good right now. The triple 1/2 caffe dark chocolate mocha with whip isn’t cutting it. The sweet, sweet feel of a six year old’s arms around my neck sure comes close to wiping out all the bad though. Thank the universe for my daughter. Because I realized today that I must put this last week where it belongs….last week. I must move on. We have to. This last week was so full of pain…not just the events in Boston, but oh so much more. It just seemed like each day and night there was something else to batter at our collective conscious.
Interestingly, I read a couple of blog posts this afternoon that mirrored what I was attempting to say in my last few. One of them invoked Dr. Martin Luther King and his words about love and she commented on how we need to be the good in the world. We need to focus on the good, and the love, and it is up to us to make that the way of things. I wanted to say “Amen sister amen.”
We need to feel the love tonight. I need to feel it. Cause my soul has been battered by the darker side of the force this last week. I can’t even begin to touch on all the drama being associated with the details of the suspects in the Boston marathon bombings. It’s too big, it’s too ‘political,’ it’s too emotional…I don’t have it in me. I take solace in knowing that there are several out there (mostly in the blogosphere, cause that’s where I get my news) that feel as I do, and that tonight, my part is to be the change I want to see.
For me, that means I need to work on evicting those things inside me that prevent me from feeling joy, those things that prevent me from passing on joy, those things that prevent me from seeing the good in others and being grateful for all that life has to offer us.
I think that’s the challenge here isn’t it? We must accept life on life’s terms. We are not required to like it. We are not required to love it. I suppose we could possibly hate it, but hate opens the door to the Dark Side of the Force, and doesn’t really toe the line with acceptance.
So…we don’t have to like it, but we most certainly need to accept it. Life that is. I have to start accepting that someone has my daughter’s puppy Max. And that someone is not going to bring him home. I have to accept this. And all the hurt and sadness that goes along with it.
I have to accept that the world is the way the world is. Life is not pretty sometimes. There is sadness, grief, pain, suffering…sometimes in quantities so great that it seems as if the words joy and happiness have been blackened out for eternity. But life just is. Period. I have to accept the pain and grief of this last week. I cannot take away those peoples’ grief or sadness. I can feel empathy for them, but when it starts to affect my circle here, then I have gone too far. The good that I need to do is to carry forth the idea that life is good. It is inherently good. Good always wins. That’s why the Dark Side failed…that’s why the Emperor lost. Doesn’t mean it’s not going to be messy along the way. It just means that we’re not on the Yellow Brick Road, dancing along. Well, that’s sort of a bad analogy isn’t it? I mean there was that green-faced virago and her shrieking monkey minions–life wasn’t all that fantastic there.
Hmmm…I can feel myself babbling. I ended up where I didn’t want to be. And now look where we are. 1600 words later.
I have GOT to work on brevity.
One of my cousins is fantastic at brevity. And every email from him, be it all of four or five words, is chock full of brevity-ness. And I get so envious.
Sadly, or not…depends how you feel about loquaciousness…I inherited the ‘gift of gab’ from the dominant Irish side of me.