I do not know why, but I am constantly haunted by earworms. Constantly.
Tonight, it’s Otis Redding and “Sittin’ on the dock of the bay…watching the tides roll in…”
Got that one? Good. Now, use these words instead:
“Sittin’ on the edge of the chair….waitin’ for the glue to dry…I’m just sittin’ on the edge of the chair…”
Tissue glue to be exact. Glorified super glue really. That’s all it is. But it’s put in a pretty little tube with a pretty purple top and labeled “Gluture.” As in glue + suture. Does the same thing. Lucky I had some of this in the old vet box. I tried to slice off a chunk of a finger tonight. Big old bloody mess. And now I can’t type to save my life.
With an earworm to boot. Oh the misery. Guess I’m going to have to go balance the damn checkbook anyway. Ugh. Life is so unfair.
Though, the whole tissue glue thing reminds me of the time I got kicked in the face by that mare with a tummy ache (well, gut ache is more like it…small bowel obstruction if you want to get technical, but really, that’s not the point of the story, so who the heck cares?). Anyhoo. She was all “ow, ow, ow, my gut hurts.” And I was all, like, “0h, well, let me help you out and try to get this halter on you and we’ll go for a walk and it’ll make you feel better” and she was like “what-the-bleep-ever!!” KA-POW!!!!! And then I was like “what the heck just happened? and how did I get out here in the hallway when I was just in there in the stall with that crazy mare? and why is there blood dripping off of me? and man does my face hurt…and why is the world spinning?”
And then, after the x-rays, and the CT scans and the whatnot, someone came in and decided they needed to glue my lip back together. So they pulled out a little tube of what looked like super glue and did just that…glued my lip back together. This is germane to the present topic in that a couple of weeks later when I received the bill for that little sojourn to the ER down there College Station way, I was astounded to see that the super glue on my lip cost $75. No kidding. I remember thinking that if I would have just grabbed that tube of super glue in the top drawer of one of the carts there in the exam room, I could have saved myself $75. Most expensive damn tube of super glue I’ve ever seen.
But thankfully, that little diploma I finally received down there is now paying off in spades as I have my very own tubes of Gluture (I’m assuming that’s a marketing gimmick…you know “glue” + “suture”…how clever, eh?) stashed in my vet box.
And you would be amazed how handy they are. For a clutz like me. In fact, this same finger was super glued just about a month ago after I tried to cut it apart with a pair of scissors. Don’t ask. It wasn’t one of my best days. My daughter can now tell anyone the finer points of I-C-E (ice, compression, elevation) followed by “get out the tourniquet, the Gluture (aka super glue) and the steri-strips…STAT!”
Never a dull moment I tell you, never a dull moment.