After much thought, I have finally decided to join the Dark Side and will shortly register as a Republican. So I can vote for my most favorite person in the whole, wide, yuuuuuge world–the Donald.

I woke up this morning and just decided that maybe it was time to stop fighting the good fight.  Wake up and smell the coffee (yummy “Nutrageous” from Jackie’s Java in Fort Collins).  Take a moment to consider the finer things in life.  I realized I needed to get in touch with my socially conservative, ultra-right wing nutty self and love me some Republican candidates.

I ruminated a bit more and came to the conclusion that if you can’t beat ’em, you should just join ’em.   Meaning I should embrace the Dark Side in all of its Dark Side-y-ness.  Revel in the ridiculousness of the Republican righteousness.  Throw caution to the wind and jump into the fray.

Declare myself to be all in for the Elephant.

Come to think of it, I’m kind of not happy about being a Donkey.  Who wants the reputation of being a braying ass?

And then…and then…I had that first cup of coffee.  The caffeine hit my bloodstream like a jolt of lightning.

The fog was lifted from my brain.   My eyes saw the glory of the calendar and I realized I had been completely and utterly fooled by the date.



I fooled myself.  (And all of y’all, right?)

And now, I can get back to regularly programmed programming.  All is still right with the world.  I have NOT, I repeat NOT, crossed over to the Dark Side.  I will NEVER, I repeat NEVER, become one of them.  Kylo Ren and Darth Vader and the Emperor can have the Donald.  And I have no compunction about seeing him (the Donald) and all the rest of them wither away with dark, dark souls, while in the clutch of the evil ones.

Whew.  Thank the Goddess.  I scared myself for a minute there.  Could you imagine?  It’d be like the worst nightmare EVER.  Waking up and thinking the Republicans were making sense?   I’d have to run screaming into the sagebrush.  Think crazy lady with hair in curlers (nah, I haven’t worn curlers since I was in middle school), in a housecoat (well, I have a long, comfy sweater and slippers), barreling out the front door into a drift of snow four feet high.  Then breaking free, arms akimbo, yelling unintelligibly, “Nooooooooooo.  It can’t be!!!!  What did I do to deserve this fate?????”

That would be me should the above scenario EVER ring true.  This chick ain’t ever gonna be for the Dark Side.

This chick ain’t giving up and throwing in the towel.  I will continue to fight the good fight so that peace and harmony will reign throughout the galaxy evermore.

(Star Wars The Force Awakens is being released shortly in case you didn’t know.  Though, to be sure, we have mixed feelings about it here.  Gracelyn loves, LOVES, Rey.  And totally wants to be her.  I love, LOVE, that she loves the strong female character.  But we both didn’t love, did NOT love, the death of our favorite nerf-herder.  Enough said.)

Blessings be on this April Fool’s Day.  And rest assured, I have not, nor ever will, cross over to the Dark Side.

About madranchwife

Mother, Mad Ranchwife(as in--at times-- crazy, nutso, loco, off-my-rocker insane), Veterinarian, Physical Therapist, "Liberal, pinko, gay-loving, Subaru-driving Socialist" (as I've been called), proud to be a totally tree-huggin', climate change believin', granola girl environmentalist, ObamaGirl, Pro-Choice (don't even get me started here...), and in my younger days a feminist vegetarian as a result of time spent at CU Boulder (this lasted approximately 14 months, until all the Jimmy Buffett I was listening to caused me to crave a cheeseburger). #FindingMyVoice #ScienceMatters
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