Happy thoughts like the kind that make you laugh so hard you float up to the ceiling for a tea party with Mary Poppins and Bert and the kids.
Or happy thoughts that make you fly again like Peter Banning when he remembers how to be a Lost Boy in Never Never Land. Bang-a-rang! (I miss Robin Williams. He was a perfect Peter Pan who forgot he was Peter Pan and then remembered again. Oops…not so happy. Bang-a-rang Robin Williams wherever your beautiful spirit is flying today!)
Happy thoughts like when you look outside all of a sudden and see nothing but big, fat, white flakes falling from the heavens, blanketing the trees and the hills and the Jungle Fort out back.
Happy thoughts like the first sip of the first cup of coffee in the morning. Ahhhh, nirvana.
I have found it so easy to feel like I’m drowning in the ugliness and the chaos and the inhumanity of the current state of affairs in this country.
My last post spoke to the jumbled-up-ness of my psyche as it tries to digest the news of the past week, let alone the past one and a half years. Putting a misogynistic, sexual predator who defends domestic abusers in the White House will likely be remembered as one of America’s absolute worst acts ever. Ever. The psychic trauma of this last year and a half for those of us who don’t subscribe to the beliefs of the xenophobic, racist, sexist bully’s regime is great and may take years to recover from.
It’s been a delicate dance since November 2016. Too much news and politics and I yell at the radio and say bad words and feel knots in my stomach. Not enough news and politics and I feel that I’ll miss something that will be the turning point, the coup de grace, the final blow to this national nightmare. From which we can all wake up and resume being civilized humans in a civilized society again. (Nota bene: dearest daughter Gracelyn won’t let me change the station too often, asking me if I remember what happened the last time I consciously did that? She’ll answer me in her sweet, sing-song voice: “Comey was fired.” And so we leave it on the news station. I think we’re both just waiting for words that will make us have faith again.)
I published the last post (My “And So I Stayed” story) on another site on Sunday morning and was overwhelmed by the responses. Affirmations of what I’d written, stories of others’ experiences, kindnesses, love, gratitude, appreciation…just generally the best part of our collective humanity. It was truly humbling.
And so freeing. I have felt a bit lighter since initially getting the words out. Sunshine truly is Nature’s best disinfectant.
Sunshine. That’s a happy thought. Usually in the middle of winter, I’m content for gray days with snow and blustery winds and freezing temperatures. Perfect for sledding or skiing or drinking hot cocoa (for her) and hot coffee (for me). Or snowball fights, or making forts, or throwing snowballs. But this winter hasn’t turned out to be much of a winter, with a paltry amount of snow on the ground and bare spots every where you turn. We had mud in the drive already. Mud. And exposed grass in the front. It’s only the middle of February. I don’t care what that groundhog said. I don’t see much winter left. So when it gets like this, I think my Spring Fever sets in and I’d just rather get to the sunshine. And the sprouting grass and the buds on the aspen trees. And the sun rising higher, not hidden behind the mountain on its shallow arc across the sky. Instead, blazing a path right overhead.
So sunshine is my happy thought today.
“You’ll never know dear, how much I love you….please don’t take my sunshine away.”